Relationship or Becoming a Hermit?

Hello Guys and Gals,

Well you guys I am going to explain to you why I don't have or participate in any kind of dating or whatever you want to call it. Now as you all know I am a large man. I am very down on myself. I look at other fat people and I am disgusted in them, I see all these gainers on YouTube and I am disgusted in them as well. Now I do not hate them but I am sickened by there size and the sloppiness that most of them have.

Well that same hatred that I project to the is the same I project onto myself. I am disgusted in myself and in the way I look and all that jazz. Well in saying that I am not sloppy! I do not smell like old cheese or vinegar, most of them nastys do tho.
Now I have always tried to do something about it but it is not as easy as smaller people think. ( will have a blog about what I think of smaller people later)
Now I project theses thought onto myself and I think to myself "How could anyone love me? How would anyone look at me without hating me" Now I know I have friends that don't look at these thing but new people; do they think these things.

Being like this makes me shallow I know but I am not attracted (Now I do not mean as friends I mean in a spouse way) to big people (Women)and that is also why I do not think I have the right to judge people who are not attracted to me. So I do not even pursue a relationship.

Now not to say I never want to get married or anything like that but I am not even open to letting people into my life because of my insecurities. I have to say That Yes I do like someone but I am far to ashamed to even try to presue anything because I am way to scared of being rejected because of my weight. So for now as since I am around 18 I am alone and will be alone until I am a much smaller man

Now I might never be small you say, well I might just be a hermit the rest of my life.
That is all for now people. Thanks for reading.



Peace



This is Duke Signin out.

Weight Loss? Measurments of A Big Guy.

Hello Guys and Gals,

Well Yall I did a Youtube Video last night, in it I posted my Measurements. I did this to let folks know how big I currently am and so that I would have a video record of it. Well I know there are people that read this that dont watch my videos so I am now going to post it here as well.

I am 6'2"

Head-24 3/4"
Chin Area-24 1/2"
Double Chin-29 3/4"
Neck-21 3/4"
Chest-65"
Bicep-19"
Forearm-(r) 14 3/4" (l) 14"
Wrist-9"
(Just Cause) Hand Length-9"
Waist-74"
Thigh-32"
Calf-22"
Ankles-(r) 12 1/4" (l) 12 1/2"

Here is a pic to go along with my mass of a person

Well you guys that is my sad story, I am not proud of it no not at all. I am very ashamed at the fast that I have gotten so big. But there is nothing I can do about it other than lose it. It will always be my shame. I will have a blog up tomorrow giving some of the reasons I do not want to have kids, I will say right here my weight is one very BIG reason I do not want any. I do not want to pass these "fat" genes on to my kids. But that is all for now. Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great day!

This is Duke Signin off.

Self Confidence Is Such A Downer....

Hello Yall,

Self Confidence..... Why is it so hard to come by. I mean to say I am a very big guy so of course mine is very low, Yet there are people that are way smaller than myself that... well have no Self Confidence either. I am baffled at how smaller than me guys have such a hard time with this. I know from experience that when I lose weight like 50lbs or more my Self Confidence goes up a good bit. That is not to say that I am some super Self Confident man it is just to say that guys that look good need to step it up.

Now I know you are wondering "What Brought This On"
Well to be honest lots of thing did, First I am single and have been since I was a teen. Second I was takin a bath today (Bad shoulder it need heat) and the tub has mirrors all around it and so needless to say I could see myself...... I could see myself alot and to be quite honest I was about to start crying. I am being real with you guys and gals. I all of the sudden got so depressed that it was sad. I hate myself. Not The person Duke but the physical Duke. I am losing weight at this moment but I am finding it so hard to stay focused because of the way I look. Self Confidence=0 in my live I may even be Neg.

Now I think that bring this big and looking the way I do has a huge.... (dang you PUN.) affect on me never talking to girls and is the core reason I am still single. I hate me so how could anyone love me?
Ofter time I am thinking to myself "what do my friends think of me" and I am sure on the surface they dont think about it but deep down they might resent me. Not that they would ever say this to my face because I am still a force to be reckoned with. But inside what do they say.Well that is all for now I will leave it to you to ponder what I have said.
This was me poring out my soul and this was Duke on "The Way I Think"

Peace and have a good one.

XBOX is a leach... Bill Gates sucks.

Hello Yall,

Well today is a very special one, today I am gonna hate on the Xbox.
Now I know some of you love you Xbox and I am not gonna knock it as a system but it seems like all the Xbox wants to do is take every bit of the money you make.

I will elaborate, I bought a Xbox 360 pro. It cost $250 (I got mine for $200 from a friend) It CO$T money to use the net or "Xbox Gold Membership" Then it comes with a controller this controller comes with some AA Batteries, To get a rechargeable Battery it CO$T $10.00. Suckage. Now for the Gamertag His was something like BubbaNuker or something like that..... Well that does not suite me so I wanted to change it well that CO$T like $12 (Well it was like $8 but I had to buy Microsoft Points and you cant just get $8) More money. Also If you want you Xbox to have a WIFI modem it CO$T anywhere form $50 (REFERB) to $85 (New) My goodness I was unprepared for all these CO$T.

Now I am being unfair to it because I am used to PS3 and you don't have to pay for all these things. But Still Microsoft is really leaching the heck out of of you. If you don't have the money for all these things it sucks. But that is me being a baby about having to pay for everything.

That is all for now yall have a great night.

This is Duke Signing out. Thanks for reading.

First Time In A While

Hello Y'all!



I have not blogged in years but I figured I would give it a shot again.

I am going to try to do one everyday day, if I will or not is another story.

I can say one thing, when I do post you will be entertained and you will enjoy reading what you are reading! If you are a fan of my videos you will be a fan of this because this is me with out a time limit. I try to keep my videos down to 6 mins and under, altho sometimes it is a hard thing for me to do.



I have 2 persona's that will be coming to you guys here. I have the Restrained Duke who will say things in a nice way so as not to hurt feelings and then there is the Released Unrestrained Duke who Will use (parentheses) to say what he wants to say. I do not swear in live forum so this is all kid friendly to some extent. I say thing I want so some may find it offencive. I will post a Story later on about one of my friends but for now....



Peace!

This is Duke Signing out, Have a good day.